Three Things Thursday No. 9: Being Self Aware
Hello there!
Last week I mentioned that I had loved Lori Gottlieb’s memoir, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. In fact, I loved it so much I decided to read another one of her books, Marry Him. Even though I am not in the dating pool, this book on the realities of dating, relationships and what *really* makes a good marriage was incredibly enlightening. I could go on and on, but for the moment the one thing that is really resonating with me is how important it is to know who you are.
Thing 1: Knowing Who You Are
In the book, the author is working with a dating coach and keeps picking out a certain type of man. They have everything she is looking for – smart, funny, tall, wants kids, early 40s. But the dating coach has to keep reminding her: you might be looking for *them,* but they might not be looking for *you.*
They want kids, but they want to have kids with their partner and she is 41. They want someone in their 30s.
They are open to an older woman but don’t want kids, she has a 2-year old.
They are open to an older woman with younger kid, but want someone easygoing. She is intense.
In the end she has to broaden her ideas of what makes a good life partner (spoiler alert: it’s not about how tall or funny you are). But in order to do that, she has to REALLY know WHO SHE IS. Imagine if she didn’t KNOW she was intense! That would be a disaster.
That one really hit me, because that is me. I think of myself as being easygoing and nonreactive, but guess what? WRONG! I am very intense! I am very passionate. I also can be very reactionary and don’t handle stress well. I’m a handful. There. I said it. (Here’s where all the people in the audience are going, “You didn’t know that??? Amazing.”)
The good news is that now that I’ve (finally) realized that, I can work with that. Instead of blindly walking around thinking I’m so easy going (and then having meltdowns that upset and surprise the people around me), I can own my nature and work to maximize its benefits and mitigate its weaknesses. (Overscheduled calendar, I have my eye on you!!)
This seems really important. How well do you know yourself? Do you feel like you have a good handle on your own personality?
Thing 2: My Signature Decorating Style
So, in terms of knowing who I am (beyond finally realizing that I’m super intense), one of the things I’ve been working on in the last few years is really knowing what I like in a space. You know what I mean? Not what I *wish* I liked, or what I think I *should* like (we all remember what should is, right?) but what I *actually* like.
For me that turns out to be very few things in a bright, white space but with a ton of vintage-inspired color and charm. I didn’t know that before—it took some experimenting and some analytical thinking to figure it out.
Anyway, I had set up my family room to be as close to that as I possibly could with what I had to work with at the time, and I think it turned out pretty great. I had shared the pictures back then but am now going back and adding in the projects I did in the space and am linking those up one by one. You can see the room so far in my post:
Also—I actually wrote a free email course on this topic (finding your own signature decorating style) but hadn’t gotten around to launching it yet. Would you be interested in that? If so, let me know and I will set it up!! Comment below or come find me on Facebook or Instagram!
Thing 3: More Tutorials!
I know I’ve been talking about personal growth a lot lately and there haven’t been many practical projects. But that is about to change!! I am *this close* to finishing the scrappy rag garland (I’ll link that up here as soon as it’s ready) and there are tutorials for yo-yos, quilts and more coming up soon! As a sneak peek, you can see pictures of the scrappy rag garland (sans tutorial) at my blog post:
That’s it!
This week it’s all about knowing who you are and what is REALLY important, plus some upcoming crafty fun. Do you have a signature style, whether personal, decorating or otherwise?
Comment below and let me know, or come find me on Facebook or Instagram!
Much love,
P.S. For the curious, Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb is another compelling memoir about the author’s attempt to find a life partner at 41, the realities of what really counts in a marriage vs. a boyfriend and how the relationship landscape changes for a woman in her late 30s or 40s. Absolutely fascinating and frankly, enlightening, even as a married person who isn’t in the dating scene at all!
