Three Things Thursday No. 18: Rhythm Problems
Howdy!
How are things going with you? We finally feel like we have our sea legs (pandemic legs??) but of course now we are running out of toilet paper. And chocolate. I’m not sure which I’m more concerned about. Oh, who am I kidding, right? Totally the chocolate.
I’m working on some sewing projects for you—cloth masks, cloth napkins and cloth wipes (because toilet paper) —but for today I wanted to continue our conversation about rhythms.
Last time we talked about creating structure and calm through family rhythms. We talked about starting from the default and making small changes, one at a time. How is that going?
In my case some things have worked and some haven’t. I’ve been trying to add a daily art habit (fail), a daily move-my-body habit (fail) and a Saturday morning gardening habit (success!!)
So what’s the problem? Why aren’t my (or your) new rhythms sticking?
Thing 1: Too Much
You’ll notice that I listed off three things I was trying to change about my default rhythm, right? You might also recall I said not to do that? Yeah. I’m not 100% perfect about following my own advice. Whaddyagonnado.
I got excited, I got ambitious, I tried to add 3 new elements to my rhythm. Not a big surprise that I failed on two out of three, right? It’s just too much all at once. Better to go with the one thing that’s working then add ONE new thing when the rhythm overall starts to feel normal.
Thing 2: No Anchor
The art practice failed because there wasn’t anywhere to “hang” it – no natural anchor. I need a time when something reliable happens that a 15 minute sketching time would flow either to or from, so that I can just slot it into that time. After lunch, after dinner, before dinner, something like that. I haven’t found the right spot yet, but I’ll keep trying. In contrast, a few months ago when I decided to start flossing my teeth in the morning, it was easy. I already brush my teeth when I get up, so the additional step fit right in.
Thing 3: Don’t Wanna
Yeah, this is hard. That’s me and the daily movement for sure. I like the idea of being healthier and losing weight and all that, but in practice I don’t want to do what’s required. I don’t want to be sore and sweaty or out of breath, and I don’t want to take time away from my other projects. I can intellectualize all I want about it, but the truth is that my reasons to do it aren’t compelling enough to overcome my instinct to avoid discomfort. :-) It’s a problem.
I was thinking about times in the past when I have actually looked forward to working out, even considered and described myself as an athlete, and they were all times when I had a very specific reason to want to get in better shape. Usually because I wanted to be better at doing something like mountain climbing, white water rafting, SCUBA diving, kung fu and laser sailing (single-person sailboats). Not that it wasn’t still challenging, but I didn’t care. I wanted to train because I wanted to achieve more in something I cared deeply about.
Right now my only movement-related hobby is gardening, and while that is at least getting me outside, there aren’t any inherent goals to inspire real training. I haven’t figured it out yet – but I know that the bottom line is that I have to get to a place where I want to move my body because it is giving me something specific, not just to “be healthier.”
That’s it!
This week it’s all about getting unstuck. Next time: more sewing, less lecturing! :-)
Meanwhile, what has been your best habit change so far? How did you do it? Or, if you have one that just won’t stick, what is it and what do you think is stopping you?
You can also always find me on Facebook or Instagram!
Much love,
P.S. What are you reading? This week I’m re-reading A Man Rides Through, the second book of a duology by Stephen R. Donaldson that starts with The Mirror of Her Dreams. I opened to the first page to check it out and 4 hours later I was still reading, captivated by the story of Terisa, a shy young woman who travels through a mirror into another realm. It’s a psychological story full of intrigue and unexpected twists plus rich characters that you truly go on a personal journey with, seeing their growth and change. It’s racier than I remember (oooh la la!) and more violent (ravenous beasts and vicious men). Definitely not for kids, but not yucky – at least not for me. I’d say it’s on a par with the first Outlander book, but more uplifting overall with humor and themes of heroism, loyalty, love, service and sacrifice. One of my favorites from the 1980s.
Many thanks to the generosity of photographers whose work is shared for free on Unsplash: Andrew Neel, Alex West, Mike Giles and Wesley Tingey.
